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it’s an immense mental battle, one of many occuring within the warzones of my mind.

it’s this dehumanizing stagnancy displayed on loop - to an audience of 1.

fight it? you try.

forget it? not your choice.

give in?

fuck no

….so it stays

& most of the time it is immensely physical

like all it would take is simply feeling physically held, cared for, & safe again.

but, i desperately can’t find comfort anywhere

am i trapped ?